I think about stuff

While on a wonderful vacation to Myrtle Beach a couple of years back, I got to visit Alabama Theater. What a delight! Along with all the other wonderful entertainment, they had a stand-up comedian named "Ricky"....yes, that is his "mugshot" at the top! I actually bought his video after the show....just a hilarious guy! He was everyone's favorite!

Well, Ricky started the "I think about stuff..." routine and I was ROFL. How smart people can act so dumb is beyond me, but he had it DOWN. From "What's that smell? .....Taco Bell" to "That's a thought loop...." to "You go girl".... he won me over!

I also love "thinking about stuff". Lately with serious matters to dwell on, it has been delightful and uplifting to just find some "humor" in life. I look up funny videos on You Tube, find cute jokes, read funny articles and try to share them all! Now, this is where I usually get more laughs than desired because I am not good at joke telling. Seems like I rush the story or forget the punchline.....sometimes making up a funnier story in the process. Oh well, life is good....:)

In all my "research" for laughter, I ran onto some funny "points to ponder". Today I want to share them with you. They make me laugh and they also make me think.... a good combination....if I am thinking while having fun, I am not wasting time, right! :)

Did you ever stop and wonder...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop 'Windows'?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why your Obstetrician or Gynecologist leaves the room when you get undressed - if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why Goofy stands erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

Why they call the airport "a terminal" if flying is supposedly so safe?

Who the first first person was to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who the first person was that said, "See that chicken there, I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum?"

Why the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, but can't he fix a hole in a boat?

What do you call male ballerinas?

If blind people can see their dreams? Do they dream??

That if Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why it is when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

How come we put a man on the moon before realizing it would be a good idea to put wheels on suitcases?

Why brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever?

How important someone has to be before they can be 'assassinated' rather than just plain 'murdered'?

How come "phonetically" is spelt with a "ph"?

Why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box?

Why people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why people say they "slept like a baby", when babies normally wake up every two hours?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

Why is it called a hot water heater when it is actually heating cold water?

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Just a few of the "fun questions of life"...... do you have any more things you "wonder" about? Let me know....I have plenty, for sure!